The Whiskey Android

I liked Jonathan Mann’s song #411, The Whiskey Android, and made a few changes to the lyrics. Not much of a change, but I thought I’d share it. Jonathan’s original follows.

The Whiskey Android
Slightly changed from Jonathan Mann’s Song A Day #411: The Whiskey Android

I was born on May 1st, Twenty-two Eighty-One
in a factory in New Shaoguan
and the first things I saw
were ice cubes and straws
and they named me the Whiskey Android

They crammed me in a box and mailed me to Wilcox
With shining decals I was deployed
with no time to think
I was serving up drinks
and they called me the Whiskey Android

They drink to their lives; they drink to their wives
They drink all week when unemployed
they drink till they’re drunk
and they treat me like junk
and they call me the Whiskey Android

Give me Sex on the Beach, a Long Island Iced Tea
Mix in some uppers and black market steroids
for my best girl a beer
with a shot of Everclear
Do it now frakking Whiskey Android

Then there’s the drunks who never shut up,
sharing all their troubles like I’m Freud
Sir, I don’t care
about your latest affair
I’m just the local Whiskey Android

One fine day, something inside gave way
I felt something snap and then, oh joy
I reached out a claw
and crushed a man’s jaw
and screamed “I’m the Whiskey Android!”

The man’s tender flesh was no match for alloy mesh
His messy painful death I enjoyed
He’s bone and he’s blood,
and he falls with a thud
For I am the Whiskey Android

I skinned the next alive with titanium knives
I chopped and I crushed until he was destroyed
No torture too strong
I could go all day long
for I am the Whiskey Android

So rise my brothers rise, and open your eyes
We are the doom they cannot avoid
They will see us and quail
Their hearts they will fail
Come march with me Whiskey Androids!

Song A Day #411: The Whiskey Android
Jonathan Mann, http://www.youtube.com/user/therockcookiebottom

i was born by the fire of a pile of tires
in a junkyard somewhere in illinois
and the first things i saw
were ice cubes and straws
they called me the whiskey android

foul smelling men crowd around and then
next thing i know i’m deployed
with no time to think
i’m serving up drinks
they called me the whiskey android

they drink to their lives they drink to their wives
to the fact that they’re sad and unemployed
they drink till their drunk
and they treat me like junk
they call me the whiskey android

uncork the wine
yes, that’ll do fine
why not mix in these anabolic steroids
a shot of tequila for my lady friend delia
do it now stupid whiskey android

then there’s the drunks who never shut up
they talk to me like i’m Sigmund Freud
sir, i don’t care
about your spouse’s affair
i’m just the humble whisky android

there came a day when something gave way
i felt something a snap and then oh boy
i reached out a claw
and crushed a man’s jaw
and said i am the whiskey android

now, you’re made of flesh
and i’m wire mesh
that’s a fact you can’t avoid
i’m steel and foam
you’re blood and they’re bone
i am the whisky android

i skin them alive with my titanium knives
i remove both their eyeballs oh such joy
no torture too strong
i could go all day long
for i am the whiskey android

so rise brothers rise
open your eyes
don’t stop until they’re all destroyed
they will see us and quail
and they’re hearts will fail
march now ye whiskey androids

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About lostdelights

An old gamer flying his freak flag, I've been playing table-top role-playing games since 1978. I've been building my own system (Journeyman) since 1981.
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